BETWEEN
THE “EGO” AND “I”
Preface
The current industrial action by the Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU) if
anything positive at all, has offered me the ever longing opportunity to see
the small but sensitive issues of life in a whole new perspective. I have been
spending the unplanned free time with a mentee (Godwin Agweyi) who has actually
being a thought provoking company. In a bid to maximize the time available we
embarked on some special readings –both spiritual and secular. One of such
readings turned out to be a book I read in the past, but this time my study
seems to be revealing more facts about life than ever before. Perhaps am
reading the book from a more relaxed position than I ever did. The idea I will
be sharing is culled from the first chapter of Fulton Sheen’s 1950 work titled
“Lift up Your Heart”. A book his
reviewers’ hailed as Sheen at his best and I also concur with.
Our struggle with false
Duality of life
The lives of the two self cannot be lived simultaneously.
If we attempt to do so, we will suffer remorse, anxiety and
dissatisfaction. Candidly if true
freedom is to be found within ourselves, the ego must yield itself to our true
personality, but the seeming self is a familiar companion to some persons that
it cannot be easily dropped, nor is it of any use to tell them that this
superficial self has no legitimate place within them. Like an unwanted part of a
plant, the false ego must be cut away and pulled off for the real personality
(the I) to surface unhindered. Surely, this is a process that involves
detachment which will always have the elements of pain and some indignity
attached!
The attribution of a natural man depicts a false
duality when the ego dominates his live. This ill character waxes better as we
subtle exhibit, unwittingly its inherent properties. When ego gains a stronger
ground over the true I in our lives the followings becomes evident:
Ø We blame little faults in others, and excuse our great
offense;
Ø We see the mote in our neighbour’s eye, and not the
beam in our own;
Ø We wrong others, and deny that there is any guilt;
Ø Others do the same wrong to us, and we say that they
should have known better;
Ø We hate others, and call it “zeal”;
Ø We flatter others because of what they can do for us,
or what we hope to get from them and call it “love”;
Ø We lie to people and call it “tact” or “smartness”;
Ø We slowly deny the rights of God in public and call it
“prudence”;
Ø We selfishly push others aside and call it “getting
our just rights” or perhaps being the “sharp-guy”;
Ø We judge others, and say we are “facing the fact”;
Ø We refuse to give up our life of sin, and call anyone
who does so an “escapist”.
Ø We overeat, and call it “health”;
Ø We pileup more wealth than is necessary for our state
in life, and call it “security”;
Ø We resent the wealth of others, and call ourselves
“defenders of the downtrodden” or “liberators”;
Ø We deny inviolable principles of law, plant our feet
firmly in midair, and call ourselves “liberal”.
Ø We begin sentence with “I” –and condemn our neighbours
as bore for wanting to talk about themselves, when indeed we want to talk more
about ourselves;
Ø We legitimize the new ruin of family life by
divorce-and say we have to “live our own lives”;
Ø We believe we are virtuous-merely because we found
someone who is vicious;
Ø Our sloth and laziness we call “living sensibly”;
Ø We disguise our psychological reluctance to genuine work
by clamouring for a social system in which the President of the country or the
political class must do everything;
Ø We want so much love, that we forget to love others;
Ø We nurse our own troubles so much that we fail to see
the issues of others;
Ø We possess money, and therefore think that we have
worth;
Ø We acquire certifications and call those who did not
make it through school “academically lazy”;
Ø We define others failure in life as a lack of
ingeniousness or creativity;
Ø We call our success the product of brilliance, hard
work and dedication;
Ø We criticize others unjustly, with the excuse that
they should know the truth about themselves;
Ø We judge our virtues by the vice from which we
abstain. Perhaps since we do not smoke all smokers must be on their way to
hell;
Ø We boast of the tinsel wrapping on the box of our
lives, and call it “glamour”;
Ø We refuse to make our minds about anything, and boast
that we are being broad-minded.
I cannot literally exhaust the list of life’s issues
that represent us as the false personality we though project to the world and
are truly not. These are the temptations to which we are all prone when we
allow the ego in us to become supreme.
Those who glorify the ego, or the seeming-self, often
develop a vicarious interest in solving problems that do not concern them, as a
substitute for tackling their own problem of selfishness.
I really wonder if our contemporary interest in other’s
horror stories is not an admission that millions of us feel the need to solve
important personal problems; but rather than facing the riddles of self, which
are indeed difficult, we shift the problem and study baffling events of other people’s
life instead.
The man who has horrors tormenting his own soul may
like to hear of greater horrors in others or to see them on the screen, in
order that he may for a moment forget his own hell within; and in some cases
create a self-righteous persona of
the events around him.
In talking about others we ask subtle questions such as:
Why doesn’t he/ her recognize his or her faults? The
obvious reason is that the “he” or “she” been referred to here has never practiced
self-introspection- a state of inner personal cleansing and inspection. Their
ego has obscured their I; hence egoism has drowned out their personality. On
the other hand, those who see the faults of others are sometimes-not-always
unconsciously revealing their own weaknesses; for how can one of us say of
another “she is jealous” or “he is arrogant” unless we already knew in our
hearts how it felt to be jealous or arrogant.
As I studied the works of Sheen further, I knew he had
more to write than was printed. But beyond his chastening of the false identity
in us, our every attempt at judging our neighbours’ particularly for self
gratification is in its self a self-revelation of our weaknesses!
The very touchiness and sensitiveness of some people about
themselves, their violent way of reaction to criticism, is an indication of how
much they protect their false ego and how little courage they have in daring to
let their real self stand the light of day! This is even so because the “ego”
and the “I” or the superficial self and the real self are related as the husk
to the seed, thus the “I” is not revealed until the ego is removed! A mango
does not become a tree until the outer covering pulp is shed and the seed is
set free to grow!
As I conclude am reminded of a statement a friend once
made-that if it was possible to sit at a balcony and watch ourselves pass-by we
will surely say crazy things about how we look, walk and even the way we
exchange pleasantries!
Dear friends the moral in the whole piece is for us to
uninstall the self-gratifying personality in us and install the true and real
us. Seeking to heal the wounds of others at the detriment of our sores will
worsen our case. Some real elements of humility practically applied can be of
real help. If I must advice further before you make you next critical assessments
of your neighbour please check through the list above to be sure your intent is
right! Again, we can begin by scanning through the categories of egoism listed
above to delete those that do not apply to us and attempt at correcting those
we are preys of.
Till I have another opportunity of writing to you in
this manner please struggle to develop the real you (i.e. the “I”). Live your
life in constant self-introspection and as much as you can esteem others more
than yourself.
Thank you
Olayinka Moses
